Monday, August 27, 2012

mental health day

Today I took a much needed mental health day.  I spent the morning in bed snuggling with my sweet puppy and catching up on the DVR.  I ended up spending Sunday in bed due to the fact that I have caught cold/virus number 1 for the school year and it's only been in season for a month.  I then spent the rest of the afternoon reading, lounging, and reading.  I had to go to school this afternoon to coach volleyball (which is a laugh of course!) and when I arrived at school I wished I had stayed at home.  I found out that we have had more items added to our to do list, along with some silly people saying stupid things about me (just because we teach middle school doesn't mean we have to behave like middle schoolers.) I brought home some grading and yet I still haven't done it because I had to run some errands tonight and I have been trying and trying to make my lesson plans for tomorrow.  I know exactly what I am going to do but I have a hard time filling out our lesson plan template.  silly isn't it?  I can't seem to explain in my lesson plans what I am going to do yet I am an English teacher who loves to talk.  ironic much?  speaking of being an English teacher who loves to talk I must confess that one of the reasons I stopped blogging was because I have a horrible love affair with run on sentences.  I think that being self aware is impressive but I also never felt that my blog would ever get more than 10 readers so what did it matter, with that being said I will be having the rules of the blog updated soon.  Sorry tangent 1 of the post is now finished!  I am starting to think that mental health day was definitely needed but now I feel like I am stuck in a rut because I just don't care to do some of the stuff I am now being asked to do.  I will do it because it's my job, and because I am a rule follower for the most part, but I want to know when am I going to have time to teach, see my husband, relax, etc.  I know that being a teacher isn't always a job that you can quit at 6 but answer me this why are the teachers at school longer than the administrators?  Why are having to pull test scores that are two years old from our students?  Why are we the ones that are worried about getting in trouble when our teaching time is taken up by silly little things like vocab four squares that take up too much time?  Sorry this wasn't meant to be a rant but let's face I'm sick of it being one of the last people at school everyday.  I am sick of being there early and still not getting things done and getting in trouble for it.  I have a life outside of school or at least I used to.  Use your plans you say, well when you have meetings two days a week, tutoring two days a week, when do you time to use your plans?  When will people let us teach again?  I want to teach!  I love teaching, I love trying new things with my kids, I love seeing the lightbulbs go off in their brains, I love hearing a student tell me that they loved my lesson (or even thought it was lame) because it meant they were paying attention.  I went to school to become a teacher not a data entry, drone for the district.  Do you ever feel like a drone?  Do you ever feel like you can't really teach anymore?

4 comments:

Ms. Yingling said...

Deep breaths! I hope you feel better. Snot on the brain is a horrible thing. You must learn to never, never touch your face with your hands-- it really cut down on my colds. Don't despair. Whenever I get tired of my 15 hour days, I remember that there really isn't anything else in the world that I would rather do. Or, more importantly, that anyone would hire me to do!

Drea said...

I am thinking that you chose well in taking a MHD! I would love to keep up with you and see how your year is going. I am a second-first year ELA teacher. I got stuck in kindergarten last year when I should have been upper grades, and now I am starting middle school for the first time. The stress and struggles of the "behind the scenes" work of teaching is really bringing me down. I enjoy educating children; I don't enjoy the jumping through hoops for tasks that usually aren't essential to teaching. :(

Drea said...

It sounds like you made a good choice to take a MHD. I wrote a good comment and Google ate it so now I'm just going to say this: I am a new teacher who is already very frustrated with the work that is getting thrown at the teachers. I can't keep up and my personal life can't take much more! I kind of feel like Ms. Yingling though; there isn't much else I could or want to do.

The Cavallaro's said...

UMM.... I SERIOUSLY THINK THAT WE MAY JUST BE THE SAME EXACT PERSON (AND TEACHER!) I feel like I am reading something I am writing. I just commented on your above post about this. I work 12-13 hour days EVERRRYYY single day and not once do I get a thanks for putting in the extra effort. I am SOO stressed by all the BS that I have to do and all the STUPID things that are asked of me to do. When do I get a freaking minute to teach my students?? My students who are already 2-3 grade levels below. It's such BS! UGGGH!


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